I went cliff-diving yesterday in an abandoned quarry. In my excitement I forgot to check my pockets before jumping, and now my keys are at the bottom of the quarry.
I launched two simultaneous ad campaigns for my brand new luck-based web site only to have it crash on the day.
When I was a sophomore in college, I would twirl my keychain around my lanyard like a big windmill, and it would always agitate my roommates and teammates. One day, around 5ish, as we were walking out of the elevator, I twirled my keys and they shot out of my hand and down the elevator shaft. One kid passing by stopped and said to me, "Wow, that's gotta be one of the top ten worst things that can happen." Took me an hour to fish it out with 3 hangars and a flashlight.
On Tuesday, the 23rd I left work early to take my daughter to the doctor. As I was driving down Route 80 in the pouring, slushy, snowy rain trying to get to the doctor on time my windshield washer decided to explode. I had about 18 miles to go and was in the middle of Paterson, NJ. Not a nice place to be. So in the end I had to drive 8 miles in the emergency lane with my head out the window trying to see. Fuck Me.
I was on my way home from a friends at 2 AM and stopped at a red light in a quiet empty town. There were no cars anywhere in sight so I said what the hell, I'm gonna run this red light. About halfway through, I noticed a car pulling up to the intersection behind me. Just as I was wondering what the chances were that it could be a cop, flashing lights lit up my rear view mirror. Hello points on my license.