I'm usually a very safe driver. In fact I pride myself on it. One night, I was unexpectedly asked to drive my sister to a concert as a favour. The place was about half an hour away, but during the last 5 minutes of the trip I crashed into another car. It cost me an insurance excess of $800. Then, 6 months later, I got my insurance bill. It was an extra $250 than usual, because I had that accident. $1050 it cost me to do this unexpected favour, which I was very unhappy about doing in the first place. Luckily though, during that night my sister found a $100 note on the ground! She gave it to me as a gift. Net cost: $950
So broke... lost my bus pass, nothing to eat, lack tuition, job search failure, found another hole in my pants and today my keyboard is broken for the computer upstairs (my only real valueable) in my room.
Was googling for how to win the lottery, came upon this site
I went cliff-diving yesterday in an abandoned quarry. In my excitement I forgot to check my pockets before jumping, and now my keys are at the bottom of the quarry.
I bought a car from a man who would not finish the title work, and I was not allowed to buy tags for the car. A police officer who pulled me over insisted I had "priors" and I went to jail for a few hours. Massive court costs, very traumatic, and I have never been in trouble in my life. A week after getting tags, and paying late fees, I had some repairs done on the car. But it was not enough-- the car was barely running and I sold it for scrap.
I once drove 30 minutes to buy a roof rack for my car. I parked in a 1-hour lot, went inside and picked up the rack, and realized at the register that I forgot my wallet. So I put it back, drove all the way home, drove all the way back, parked in the same spot, and bought it. When I got out I saw a ticket on my window for extended parking in a 1-hour space. I was furious so I drove around looking for the cop, and I actually found him and confronted him. He said he would drop the ticket if I appeared in court because it was too late for him to change it now. I felt a little better, like I had been wronged and made the world right again. But then on the drive home a van kicked up a rock and cracked my windshield. It cost twice as much to repair the windshield.
I launched two simultaneous ad campaigns for my brand new luck-based web site only to have it crash on the day.
I went on a date once and I really wanted to impress the girl, so I went to a flower store and bought some exotic looking flowers and hid them under the table at the restaurant. Then when she sat down I told her I had a surprise for her, and I convinced her to close her eyes. I grabbed the flowers and put them right under her nose thinking she would smell them and smile. But instead she just started violently sneezing. Her face started to get red and splotchy and I asked if she was ok. I could tell she wanted to say something but she couldn't stop sneezing. I imagine it was along the lines of 'I'm allergic to these flowers asshole' but I'll never know. She ran out of the restaurant embarrassed and I never heard from her again.
When I was a sophomore in college, I would twirl my keychain around my lanyard like a big windmill, and it would always agitate my roommates and teammates. One day, around 5ish, as we were walking out of the elevator, I twirled my keys and they shot out of my hand and down the elevator shaft. One kid passing by stopped and said to me, "Wow, that's gotta be one of the top ten worst things that can happen." Took me an hour to fish it out with 3 hangars and a flashlight.
One night in college a friend of mine brought an entire bag full of alcohol for a small party in our dorm room. I met him down in the lobby to sign him in, and walked into the elevator to ride up to the 6th floor. It was entirely obvious what was in the bag, but it was a little too late to hide it and I wasn't very worried since the only person who would care was the building RA, who I had never seen once since orientation. On the 5th floor the elevator opened up, and that was exactly who walked in. We were written up and assigned the most depressing task imaginable for a college student - emptying every individual beer can into the bathroom sink under supervision.
The first (and last) time I ever played paintball, I got shot at close range in my balls. I don't remember anything except dropping down and waking up in a hospital, to have a doctor explain to me that a paintball ruptured one of my testicles, and I had to get it removed.
On Tuesday, the 23rd I left work early to take my daughter to the doctor. As I was driving down Route 80 in the pouring, slushy, snowy rain trying to get to the doctor on time my windshield washer decided to explode. I had about 18 miles to go and was in the middle of Paterson, NJ. Not a nice place to be. So in the end I had to drive 8 miles in the emergency lane with my head out the window trying to see. Fuck Me.
I am terrified at the thought of getting a girl pregnant. The very first time I had sex, the girl told me she was on birth control, but I used a condom anyway. And I still got her pregnant.